The Ethical Slut

The classic guidebook for the sexually adventurous includes discussion of lifestyle choices and how to negotiate them, learning curves for unlearning jealousy, and many many new models for different kinds of relationships that could enrich our lives. 

We are currently starting work on a second edition, informed by our last ten years of further travels on the paths of sluttery, and in particular my ten years since the book was published working as therapist with a wonderful range of lifestyles and approaches to relationships.  We plan to include more exercises you can try, more info about the internet and new paradigms of relationships:  what are all the possible roles that sharing sex can play in connecting people?

The New Bottoming Book & The New Topping Book

The second editions of these two popular guides to "how to do terrible things with wonderful people" are must-reads for anyone looking to explore BDSM.  They contain tons of useful information about safe, sane and consensual SM play:  myths and realities, negotiation and finding your limits, techniques of play, role playing, spiritual journeys, and many strategies for how to feel free to reach out for what you want and make a scheme for safety in an exciting field of risk.

When Someone You Love Is Kinky

We wrote this book as a gentle introduction to BDSM lifestyles, designed for people with no experience to learn what SM players do and how we make it safe, in hopes that leather people can give this book to family and friends who wish to understand our lifestyle.

We have received many calls, letters and emails of heartfelt thanks from partners and families who found ways to understand and go on loving each other after reading this book:  we are honored that people outside of our community will listen to what we can show them.  Sometimes we actually get to save marriages.

Radical Ecstasy:  SM Journeys to transcendence

Our most recent work chronicles our own journeys into SM spiritual practice - what we learned, what might be of use to you on your own journeys.

I do not understand why people believe that sexuality and spirituality are mutually exclusive, or somehow opposed to each other.  Sex is a wonderful manifestation of spirit moving in our lives and in our bodies and between each other, making wonderful connections and generating great waves of love.  Nothing could be more sacred than the sharing of our sexual fire.